Each weekday, Rodeo Rick scours the web for the best and weirdest news headlines from around the world. We proudly present you with the best Redneck Headlines and the stories behind them.

Here are today’s Redneck Headlines:
#1 – FINGER LICKIN’ BUSTED
#2 – TOO YOUNG TO STEAL
#3 – HE BEER-LY SURVIVED!

FINGER LICKIN’ BUSTED

A Canadian man is licking his wounds, rather than his fingers, after cops busted him on a distracted driving charge – because he was driving his car hands-free … while eating a rotisserie chicken.

A cop spotted Michael Gibson driving erratically and noticed that he was using his knees to steer, while paying more attention to the bowl of chicken sitting in his lap. While the 58-year-old admitted that he may have drifted between lanes a couple of times, he insisted it was not because he was distracted by his lunch.

Gibson racked up a total of $460 in fines for the incident, so it sounds like Canadian cops see eating the bird as even more frowned upon than flipping the bird. (Ottawa Citizen)TOO YOUNG TO STEAL

A clerk in a Russian liquor store foiled a robbery by asking the wannabe thief to produce some ID before she turned over the booze – which he couldn’t do, because he was only 16.

The teen was waving a machete and demanding liquor and cigarettes, but the law-abiding clerk wouldn’t budge from her position that he was too young to obtain the merchandise — bought or stolen.

She eventually gave in after being threatened with the weapon, but held out long enough that cops were able to arrest the kid very near the store. (UPI)


HE BEER-LY SURVIVED!

A Florida man ended up in the hospital after being stabbed by his wife – and all he did was offer her a beer!


Byron Harvey suffered non-life-threatening wounds in the incident, which unfolded after his wife, Latasha, finished snorting the cocaine she was using and asked him for cash to buy some more at the bar where they were drinking. When he went and got her a beer instead, she expressed her displeasure by pulling a steak knife out of her pocket and plunging it into his shoulder.

She’s currently being held on charges of battery and domestic violence. (TC Palm)

A wanna-be burglar in Georgia is in a ho-ho-hole lotta trouble after getting stuck when he went up the chimney without care during a heist.