Five Ways to Properly Punish the Casper Puppy Thieves [Poll]
This week, a Casper man was robbed at gunpoint. Adding insult to injury, the armed gunman and his accomplices stole the victim's puppy.
What kind of despicable lowlife steals a puppy? That's just plain wrong.
Even if the thieves are apprehended and punished to the full extent of the law, justice will not be served in this case.
With that in mind, here are five ways to properly punish these morally corrupt criminals.
1. Neuter them - It's important to have our pets spayed and neutered and, in this case, humanity would certainly benefit if these thieves were no longer able to reproduce.
2. Force them to wear bacon underwear in a cage full of angry pit bulls - This option might also impair their ability to reproduce.
3. Chain them to a fire hydrant in a local dog park - Let the dogs of Casper send a message of their own to these thugs.
4. Keep them in a fenced outdoor pen for the rest of their lives and force them to eat and drink from a bowl - If these crooks want to steal dogs, let's let them live like animals.
5. Throw them in the gorilla cage at the Cincinnati Zoo - Only this time, no guns will be needed.