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Go Fish – Redneck Headlines

Each weekday, Rodeo Rick scours the web for the best and weirdest news headlines from around the world. We proudly present you with the best Redneck Headlines and the stories behind them.

Here are today’s Redneck Headlines:
#1 – GO FISH!
#2 – BOOK HER!
#3 – 16 MINUTES OF INFAMY

GO FISH!

A Florida man who hit the high seas in order to bring home a seafood dinner managed to do just that on dry land  by taking his trawler to a supermarket, where he piled a passel of shrimp into his shorts before sailing off in his pickup truck.

The unidentified trawler drove up to the market towing his fishing boat and headed straight to the seafood corner, where he and apal ordered up a mess of chow. While his pal piled his portion of the take into a shopping cart and wandered away, the felonious fisherman decided he’d like his shrimp stuffed into his shorts.

The shrimp-stealing sailor remains at large. ( UPI )

BOOK HER!

A four-year-old Pennsylvania girl with a yen for learning got schooled in the ways of our legal system when cops showed up at her house to retrieve books she’d neglected to return to her local library.

The toddler was, in fact, several months late in returning the books, which included copies of such best-sellers as I See the Moon and The Halloween Cat and had racked up about $80 in fines. Library authorities defended their actions, saying they’d sent out three postcards requesting their return.

Katelyn Jageman was not arrested or fingerprinted, but her name is on the books forever. (WTAE)

 

16 MINUTES OF INFAMY

A thug in Florida set the bar pretty high for the next criminal who wants to play ‘Beat the Clock’ by committing a felony just 16 minutes after being released from prison.

Marcus Hunt, who’d been freed after posting bail on charges of fleeing police and driving without a license, was busted just minutes later when he walked up to a man, punched him in the face and rode off on his bicycle. It took just a few more minutes for deputies to find him, so he was back behind bars before the next shift change.

Hunt’s last major sentence was a two year stint and ended in December of last year.

Source: Tampa Bay Times

A wanna-be burglar in Georgia is in a ho-ho-hole lotta trouble after getting stuck when he went up the chimney without care during a heist.

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