Each weekday, Rodeo Rick scours the web for the best and weirdest news headlines from around the world. We proudly present you with the best Redneck Headlines and the stories behind them.

Here are today’s Redneck Headlines:

#1 – A LOSING GAME OF CARDS

#2 – AN UNWANTED POTTY INVITATION

#3 – IF YOU WANNA LIVE, YOU BETTER PUT A RING ON IT

A LOSING GAME OF CARDS

Bargain hunting didn’t pay off for one California woman, who used her supermarket discount card to try to save a few bucks on a purchase she was making with a credit card she’d stolen last month.

Traci Wheeler lifted the card from a pizza parlor in May, and had been racking up bills around the Bay Area, but wasn’t caught until she got in touch with her thrifty side at a Safeway.

(San Francisco Chronicle)

AN UNWANTED POTTY INVITATION

A Florida woman was arrested after she was spotted attempting to fertilize her neighbor’s lawn, by pooping on it in the middle of the night.

Sharee Barnes wandered into her neighbor’s front yard and squatted down, setting off a motion detector that alerted him to an intruder. When he went outside to check on things, she allegedly began screaming obscenities, which continued when deputies arrived on the scene.

One responding officer says that Barnes demanded that she be arrested by a different deputy, because she didn’t like the ones that responded to the call. He also said she smelled strongly of liquor. (WPTV)



IF YOU WANNA LIVE, YOU BETTER PUT A RING ON IT

We’ve all heard of Bridezillas, but one Florida woman took the concept to a whole new level by choking and threatening to stab her boyfriend because he refused to propose to her.

Nikoleta Karoly wanted her beau to put a ring on it to save her from being deported, but when he dragged his feet, she took matters – and his neck – into her own hands. She choked and slapped him hard enough that he called cops to file a complaint and inform them that he feared for his life.

The woman denied any assault, saying that any scratches or bruises on the victim were merely the result of feisty bedroom activities. (Naples News)

A wanna-be burglar in Georgia is in a ho-ho-hole lotta trouble after getting stuck when he went up the chimney without care during a heist.