5 Easy Steps To Avoid Dying Horribly In Wyoming

Ever heard of The Darwin Awards?

The Darwin Awards recognize individuals who have supposedly contributed to human evolution by removing themselves from the gene pool through death or sterilization. This is not a conscious choice, but rather a result of stupid or reckless actions. (Wikipedia).

This means the next 5 items are advice that won't be taken because some people are just too stupid to listen.

1. READ SIGNS AND DO WHAT THEY SAY

If the road sign reads closed, and the snow, ice, or other driving conditions make that road look sketchy, don't drive up that road. Some Wyoming tourists recently rented a 4 door jeep and drove past closed signs on a snowy road only to get stuck for 6 hours, in a cellphone dead zone.

2. GPS LIES!

You're Wyoming GPS is trying to KILL YOU! It's probably an AI problem as artificial intelligence tests ways to eliminate humans by having them drive into the middle of nowhere get stuck, and die.

3. ANIMALS DON'T LIKE YOU AND WILL KILL YOU

Despite what you saw on TV cartoons growing up, animals are afraid of you, they don't like you, and given the slightest chance they will kill you in the most horrific way possible. NO, THEY DO NOT WANT A HUG! They don't want to take a selfie with you. Look at them from a distance.

4. BEAR SPRAY IS FOR BEARS, NOT FOR YOU

There have actually been cases of people spraying bear spray on themselves to keep the bears away. This does not work the same way as mosquito repellent. READ THE DIRECTIONS.

5. DON'T TELL A WYOMINGITE HOW YOU DO THINGS IN YOUR STATE

That's a great way to DIE! We don't care how you did it back home. We like the way we do it here.