An Oklahoma City man was arrested this week after threatening a convenience store employee with a tree branch in an act of ‘Botanical Brutality.’ Ugh, sorry.

53-year old Marvin Glenn Jones had already been banned from a local 7-Eleven for making death threats against the store manager, but that didn’t stop him. “General Jones” (as he called himself) returned later that evening, and when the store employee asked him to leave the premises, Jones allegedly returned with a four-foot tree branch and threatened the employee with it.

When police took him into custody, Jones reportedly attempted to set himself on fire in the back of the squad car, and claimed that a bomb was about to go off.

Jones was charged with assault and battery, and the tree branch was taken as evidence, so we can all sleep a little easier knowing that one more dangerous tree limb is off the streets.