The 5 Stages of Back to School Grief [SATIRE]

The denial of back to school often starts around the beginning of August. The weather's still warm, the end of the month is so far away, it doesn't seem at all like summer's coming to an end. Most students have probably worked through this, but since the university has yet to complete a full week of classes, there's likely a small portion of the campus still working through it.

Anger might set in as you leave your summer jobs and  hometown friends before packing for another year in Laramie. It's not that you don't love Laramie, it's just that the homework tends to pile on pretty quickly, and nobody wants that kind of responsibility, it cuts too much into socialization and party time. And that's before you get into the exorbitant cost of books, especially those that require a separate $150 to access the online homework.

The most dangerous step in the Back to School Stages of Grief, this can start back in the spring semester, when students start to plan their schedules. "If I take online classes," they reason, "then I won't actually have to wake up early or put on pants to go to school." Unfortunately, online classes still require the same amount of work and often in the same time frame, so you're still in school.

So it's finally set in: you're away from home, and syllabus week is over. Now is when the real work begins. You'll slump into your dorm room or apartment and shrug off your boulder of a backpack and take inventory of your homework. The only problem is that it's all piled on so quickly, you don't know where to begin, and you know you'll never reach the end of it. Instead, you decide to take a nap. After all, the work will still be there when you wake up (unfortunately).

You've resigned yourself to it: the only way all of the schoolwork is for you to simply buckle down and do it. Whether you use your favorite playlist or TV show as a white noise, you find a way to work through the seemingly never ending pile of homework and responsibilities foisted upon you. Before you know it, winter break will be here and you'll get a full month off before the process starts over.