Friendly Reminder On How Parking Lots Work [Satire]
I know, it's really hard to grasp. There's a stretch of asphalt with no other purpose than to place your car while you go into a building. Such a novel idea, right? Sometimes, there are even weird signs and lines on the ground! Who's to know how those things work. It's like a puzzle, wrapped in a conundrum, stuffed into an enigma.
But have no fear, I'm here to remind you all how to properly park in a parking lot. Because if the parking I've seen at Safeway recently is any indication, this is a topic a lot of you might need a refresher on.
First of all, remember that the lines are not just "suggestions." They're not painted on the ground to say "Hey, maybe park here? If not, that's cool." If you are using a parking lot, you should park in between the lines, both for the safety of your own vehicle, and that of others. You wouldn't want your jacked-up truck getting scratched when a little Kia pulls in next to your two-spot parking job and tries to open their door, right?
Secondly, remember that parking lots are not just places to park your car while you do other things. The space in between rows in Parking Lots are actually roads themselves! Crazy right? Someone looking for a spot, or leaving to get out of the lot will need to drive through those mini-roads to get to their destination. That means you need to pull all the way forward in your spot.
When all of these rules are followed, everyone will be a little happier and I can stop yelling at my windshield about idiot parking jobs. So give it a try. You might find that you like parking like a human being instead of someone who hasn't fully grasped how to be an adult in a functioning society. Best of luck on the asphalt jungle!