Laramie Troubles Uncovered As Homesteader Curse [SATIRE]
Tornadoes and fires, oh my. Sometimes it feels like Laradise is a bit of a Lara-hell lately, what with all of the natural disasters washing across the Laramie valley. Well, you might be surprised to find out that it's all according to plan. Well, one mysterious figure's plan.
According to an exclusive Ouija board interview with 1860's homesteader, Angus Abraham, who refers to himself as a "real cowboy," Laramie only has it's ancestors to blame. He declined to give his cause of death, citing it as an embarrassing accident and refusing to give further context.
According to Abraham, who went on a long rant via the ouija board that included references to the Bucket of Blood Saloon gang and the arrival of the railroad, Laramie has been cursed ever since they moved the old cemetery to it's current location.
"Y'all messed up," Abraham said, "We was just minding our own business when you scoundrels dug us up and moved us." He also cites the lack of appreciation for the town's history as one of the factors. "The museums are wonderful, they care about us, but hardly any of you folk even visit them."
It's highly advised by the spiritual adviser that we contacted shortly after losing our connection with Angus that all residents of Laramie visit a local museum and take in the history of the great city of Laramie as quickly as possible to avoid any further natural disasters from befalling the Gem City.
This post is satire, any reference to real persons and events is purely for entertainment purposes.