Darth Vader Was the Best in the Galaxy at Social Distancing
It's Star Wars Day and 'May the 4th Be With You'. Imagine if Covid-19 had spread throughout the galaxy. If there was one person who had all their bases covered when it came to social distancing, it was Darth Vader.
It's as if Darth Vader prepared for the pandemic ever since making the transformation from Anakin Skywalker. As soon as he put on that suit, he was pretty much ready for anything. Sure, he has a pre-existing condition where most of his body was badly burned (thanks, Obi-Wan Kenobi), but he was well prepared after that. It's as if he consulted Dr. Fauci as soon as he made the full transformation to Darth Vader.
- He has a mask. There's no droplets that are getting through that helmet and mask he's wearing. Vader is already one step ahead of everyone trying to prevent Covid-19. Plus he can't touch his face at all while he's wearing that.
- He wears gloves to touch everything. While it's true that gloves can become contaminated with the coronavirus, he probably has an endless supply of those things. I mean, why wouldn't one of the most powerful villains in the galaxy not?
- He has the force, he doesn't have to touch anything. The dude has the ability to move things with the force, even if he didn't want to put on his outfit everyday, he could just use the force.
- Coming within six feet of him means you're within striking distance of his lightsaber. No one is coming within six feet of Darth Vader, especially if they recently dropped the ball on some sort of project, like a design flaw in the construction of the Death Star where someone could blow it up by shooting a laser in some sort of aesthetically pleasing hole that's only two meters across.
- There's no public places inside the Death Star. You don't ever really see anyone in the Death Star packing the place wall-to-wall, nor are there any restaurants or bars. If there are, they definitely never showed Darth Vader walking into an Applebee's located on the Death Star. You would think that would've come up in the storyline somewhere.
Therefore, Darth Vader was well prepared for Covid-19. While the Rebellion was all busy cramming into a meeting room where Admiral Ackbar is debating on whether or not, 'It's a trap,' Vader was plotting for domination of the galaxy safely and properly social distanced. These are instances where we should all be more like Darth Vader.